Commander's Log
by Heichou's Pet
Summary: Complicated thoughts from the mind of a troubled commander. (Rating is subject to change)
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Hey guys! I know I haven't uploaded anything in a while, and I apologize for that. But I've started this little side-project thingy to keep the uploads a'commin while I work on my main story 'Rebellion' (For those of you who have read Rebellion and haven't heard, I'm re-writing it because I wasn't satisfied with it and my writing style has changed a bit). This story will be from Erwin's perspective, and may or may not turn into a yaoi (LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT IT TO PLEASE!).

Enjoy! :D

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Commander's Log, Day 1

Former commander Shadis suggested I start keeping a journal of sorts… Really just a collection of my thoughts and opinions on things going on within the corps. He said it is what kept him sane most of the time during his eight years as commander. He said it is like having an extremely close friend you can tell all of your worries and stresses to. I think it is a bit strange, but I trust Former commander Shadis with my life. If this is what helped him, I am sure it would be able to help me as well. Especially with the recent destruction of wall Maria, I may just need it more than he did.

It is my first full day as commander. I was officially sworn in yesterday in the capital. It is a bit odd to think I've made it this far. It seems like an eternity since I've joined the Survey Corps, and yet it feels like just yesterday when I was sneaking trough the baracks at the trainee corps late at night with Nile and Mike so we could urinate off the rooftop.

Well… We were quite rambunctious in our youth, but there was something very freeing about the experience.

Anyways, I am getting off topic… As new commander of the Survey Corps, my first important task is to promote one of the current squad leaders to be my right-hand, as I was for commander Shadis for so many years. It may seem biased, because he is my friend, but I already believe I am going to choose Mike. He has more than proved his loyalty to the corps, and to myself. His skill with the 3D Maneuver Gear is exceptional and he's unsurpassed as far as combat ability goes.

Though perhaps…

I've not had time recently to compare the two, but Mike may actually be matched, if not outmatched, in his ability to take down titans. One of our newer recruits, Levi, is the only soldier in known history able to take the head off of a titan without the use of a cannon. He's also a force to be reckoned with in close combat. I have experienced it firsthand on two accounts. It was his original goal to kill me, after all.

Which makes many doubt whether even keeping him in the corps is a good idea. No one knows anything about him other than before joining the corps he'd been a criminal leader in the Underground. But I believe he's changed. I do not think he is coming after me any longer. What I saw that day on the expedition a year ago was a broken man who had lost everything worth living for. So, that day, I gave him a new reason for living: to be an asset to the Survey Corps and a savior to humanity. He's been quiet and reserved ever since, but he has continued to prove himself one of the best, if not the best, men the corps had ever enlisted on each expedition outside the walls.

Aside from that, the citizens love him. They hear stories through other soldiers about Levi's prowess on the field, and have dubbed him 'Humanity's Strongest'. He is admired and adored by countless, and perhaps they even see him as inspiration. If a criminal- a thief and assassin- can make a name for himself and become successful, then why can't the average citizen?

With his popularity, putting him in a high position could earn the Survey Corps some much-needed support. We could finally show everyone that their tax dollars aren't spent simply to send us to the titans for feed. I truly believe Levi will continue to be an asset, and his strength may just help us bring about an end to the titans once and for all.

I think I may have decided on my new Corporal. I just hope any backlash I receive from the other soldiers will be well worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

Commander's Log, Day 15

Another expedition is upon us. I have not yet made any promotions, so I am headed beyond the walls without a corporal. I have, however, discussed my idea with Mike. I wanted to break it to him first of all, because he is my closest friend and I wanted to minimize any hurt feelings. He seemed perturbed at first, telling me I was likely making a mistake. Not because he wanted the position. On the contrary, he told me he never wanted to have to take on any more responsibilities than he already had as a squad leader.

Like many others, he still does not fully trust Levi. Mike reminded me over and over how the other man had tried to kill me. He pointed out the scar running across the palm of my hand where I'd grabbed Levi's sword in an attempt to stop it from cutting me open like a freshly caught fish. I told him of how I believed Levi would not try it again. After all, he'd been with the corps for over a year now and had had many perfect opportunities to kill me, yet he hadn't. Besides, he really had no more reason to kill me, other than the insults I had thrown at him in his first few weeks with the corps. Which, I had long ago apologized for. Nicholas Lobov, the one who had originally hired Levi to kill me, was locked up and would remain there for an indefinite amount of time. I told Mike that I trust him.

Mike, in return, told me he trusted me and would respect my decisions. Even if he doesn't agree with them.

In the meantime, I have put Levi in a temporary squad leader position. I will examine his leadership abilities during this expedition. If they are any bit as impressive as his combat and maneuvering abilities, then I believe the position is his.

We shall see.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Just a mini chapter this time, but this is really more like Erwin's diary or something, so not all chapters are gonna be a good length. XD

Please give me more feedback about which direction you want this to go. Romance? Death? SEX?! I want to cater this story to the readers.

Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Commander's Log, Day 22

I have finally gotten some time to write, though it is getting so late that the sky is starting to lighten again, so I'll make it short.

As expected, Levi's leadership skills were impressive. Though, I did notice something that may be his downfall. He seemed to place exceptional importance on the survival of his squad members, even going so far as to put himself in danger to ensure they made it back to the walls alive. I thought everything would have all been for naught when he pushed one young soldier out of the way of a titan's fist and the great meaty hand instead wrapped around him. It felt like a hand had wrapped itself around my chest and was squeezing in much the same way the titan was squeezing my soldier. I knew Levi was probably the greatest soldier the corps had ever had the privilege of having, and I saw our victory against the Titans disappearing if Levi died here. But more than that, I felt sympathy for the man. He had obviously been through so much already in his life that it was a shame for that life to end at the hands of a titan. Levi is the type of man who deserves a long life, to die when he is old and gray, surrounded by loved ones while lying in a warm bed.

Luckily, he was able to cut himself free before that precious life was crushed out of him.

I reprimanded him for taking such severe risks once we'd made it back to the wall. He simply retorted by saying he had a greater chance of surviving against that titan than the other soldier did, and told me I was being irrational. Is it irrational to care about the safety of your men? If that were the case, wouldn't he also be irrational for what he did?

I hope this decision doesn't come back to bite me, but I am about to go and apologize to him, as well as let him know that he has been promoted.


End file.
